


good girl (loves horses and her boyfriend, too)

by pirateygoodness



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-02
Updated: 2010-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 14:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/177991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateygoodness/pseuds/pirateygoodness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It would be impossible for Kahlan to avoid noticing how subdued Cara is, or the way she won't quite meet anyone's eyes. <strong>Spoilers for 2.12, "Baneling."</strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	good girl (loves horses and her boyfriend, too)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://users.livejournal.com/thrace_/profile)[**thrace_**](http://users.livejournal.com/thrace_/) and [](http://users.livejournal.com/robotjen/profile)[**robotjen**](http://users.livejournal.com/robotjen/) and [](http://fivewhatfive.livejournal.com/profile)[**fivewhatfive**](http://fivewhatfive.livejournal.com/) for listening to a lot of my angst and beta reading this story.

  
Cara hasn't been herself, not since South Caston.

Granted, becoming a baneling would be difficult for anyone, and Cara is no different - her wounded pride is obvious to all of them, Kahlan most of all. As they walk along the trail to Stonehaven, Cara allows herself to slouch, betraying her fatigue as they near the place where they will make camp for the night. In the face of Zedd's informative tidbits about magical uses for common forest plants, she nods quietly, and lets his rambling pass, rather than asking him for silence.

It would be impossible for Kahlan to avoid noticing how subdued Cara is, or the way she won't quite meet anyone's eyes.

By the end of that first day of travel, Kahlan has begun to make a point of walking next to Cara. Every so often, their shoulders bump together, and Cara's lips twitch in something that might almost be a smile.

That evening, as they make camp for the night, Cara builds the fire without a word of dissent. When Richard leaves to hunt, and insists that she stay back and rest, she doesn't protest. She doesn't say a word when Zedd takes charge of the cooking, or when Richard claps her on the shoulder and teases, gently, about her skill at preparing meals. Instead, she sits by the fire and watches the flames, not speaking.

By the time Zedd's finished preparing supper, Cara's quiet is testing even Kahlan's patience. She makes it a point to sit next to Cara as they eat, and every so often, when Cara seems especially quiet, Kahlan nudges her knees and smiles.

Each time, Cara smiles back, politely. It's the most upsetting thing Kahlan has seen all day. Cara's usual confidence, the way she normally lets her gaze roam down to the top of Kahlan's corset, it's missing. More than that, she is allowing the absence to show through, and the thought of that makes Kahlan's heart ache for her.

*

After supper, Richard and Zedd leave the two of them alone. They sit together, side by side at the fire, as Kahlan slowly gathers the nerve to speak. "Cara?" she says, and rests her hand on Cara's arm. She waits until Cara turns to face her, before she says anything more. "Are you still upset? About -" Kahlan falters, unsure how to ask. "About this morning?"

Cara looks away. "Why would I be upset?"

She sounds utterly defeated. Kahlan wants nothing more than to press, to keep asking until Cara admits to feeling the hurt clear in everything she does. But Kahlan has learned, sometimes the best thing she can do with Cara is to give her time. "Alright," she says.

Cara visibly relaxes.

*

The next morning, she's the same. Kahlan begins to worry.

They travel on foot, the day spent hiking towards the mountain pass that will take them to Stonehaven. Cara is silent, but she allows Kahlan to walk beside her. After last night, Kahlan is grateful to be allowed the privilege. She talks too much, nervously pointing out the way the daylight passes through the leaves above them, naming the wildflowers they pass along the trail. If this were any other day, Cara would have told her to keep her peace, hours before.

As they reach the pass, Richard and Zedd volunteer to scout ahead, while Cara and Kahlan make camp. Dragon's Pass is known for its treacherous footing and bloodthirsty highwaymen, and any information they can find in advance will be a help as they navigate it tomorrow.

They find a clearing just off the main road, protected on one side by a rock face. They can do no better than this, and so they begin to make camp for the night. Cara falls to the work without a word, chopping firewood and setting tinder with her usual silent efficiency. But there's a gruffness in the way she speaks to Kahlan, and tension in the way she carries herself.

She hasn't looked Kahlan in the eye for days, now.

They have plenty of time, before Zedd and Richard will return, and Kahlan takes advantage of the luxury. She takes her time unpacking her bedroll, and setting out supper. Cara watches her, wordlessly, from across the fire.

Kahlan brings the meal to Cara, sitting beside her with a smile that shouldn't be as cautious as it is. "Here," Kahlan says. "You must be hungry."

Cara grunts in reply, hardly raising her head.

The meal is nothing elaborate - bread and some cheese they bought from a farmer outside South Caston - but it goes a long way after a hard day's walk, and they both eat hungrily. Neither speaks, and Kahlan wishes that she knew what to do. Or that she had someone - a mother, a sister - to turn to for advice.

With Cara withdrawn like this, no longer behaving like the sharp-tongued, strong-willed woman Kahlan has grown to respect, Kahlan finds that she misses her. She wishes she knew the best way to bring that woman back.

She sighs, lost in thought, and leans against the warmth of Cara's shoulder. To her surprise, Cara sighs in answer.

"What is it?" Cara asks, softly. staring down at the grass.

She's still staring down, eyes fixed on the grass. Kahlan just wants Cara to look at her. She turns, raising her hand to Cara's face. Her fingertips stroke Cara's forehead, the sharp angles of her cheek, before she slips a lock of hair behind Cara's ear. Even now, when Kahlan touches her, Cara is unflinching. Kahlan has not had that luxury with many. She traces Cara's ear, then the line of Cara's jaw, before she finds the strength to speak.

"Cara," she says, two fingertips beneath Cara's chin. She presses, gently, until Cara turns to face her. When she meets Kahlan's gaze, finally, the hurt Kahlan sees there is enough to bring tears to her own eyes.

"Yes?" Cara finally says, voice rough.

" _Oh_ ," Kahlan whispers.

In one fluid motion, Cara fists her hand in Kahlan's hair and pulls her into a kiss, crushing and desperate. They haven't done this in days, and Kahlan's missed that, too. Cara's mouth against her own, the press of Cara's body, have always been able to leave Kahlan feeling breathless. This time is no exception. When Cara pulls away, looking at Kahlan with eyes full of hunger and hurt, Kahlan feels an answering ache between her thighs and behind her ribs.

" _Cara_ ," she whispers, cupping Cara's cheek with her palm.

She doesn't know what else to say. She has all of the things she wants to say, trapped behind her tongue, things that Kahlan knows Cara would flinch away from if she ever gave them voice. Instead of speaking, Kahlan presses her lips to Cara's once, twice, a half dozen times. She stops allowing herself to think about the look in Cara's eyes. She stops remembering the way that Cara looked as a baneling, the cracks in her face, the guilt she felt from dying, of all things.

The kisses stop coming, and Cara pulls away once again. Her head is tilted to the side, and now it's her turn to look at Kahlan, searching. "Why are you crying?" she says.

Kahlan hadn't noticed.

She sniffs, suddenly embarrassed. Cara swipes her thumb across Kahlan's cheek, clumsily wiping away tears, and Kahlan lifts her hands to help with the rest. "I'm sorry," she says.

Cara frowns. "Why are you crying?" she says again.

There's something in her voice that's not quite right. Kahlan isn't sure if it's real emotion, or if she's just frustrated, but she knows what she wants it to be. Kahlan takes a breath, slow and shaky, watching Cara's eyes. She wishes - not for the first time - that she could read Cara, even a little. Blindly, she takes a deep breath. "If you ever die again," Kahlan says, voice more than a little watery. "I want you to tell me."

Cara looks at her for a moment, as though offended by the very notion. And then, slowly, she begins to smile. "It won't happen again," she says. She's speaking with her usual confidence, bordering on arrogance, and Kahlan feels her heart flutter with relief at the sound of it.

Cara watches her for a moment, still stroking Kahlan's cheek. Kahlan can tell that she's struggling with herself, with something important, and it takes all of her self-control to keep herself patient. After a long while, Cara speaks again, much more softly. "Don't worry," she whispers.

Kahlan hears the emotion behind her words, and understands. As she presses her forehead to Cara's cheek, she feels fresh tears come to her eyes. "Thank you," she murmurs against Cara's throat.

Cara presses her palm to Kahlan's back, tentatively, and begins to rub. It's better than anything she could ever say. 


End file.
